We're on smooth riding titanium hardtails instead of some full suspension beast, so we have about a 4 lb headstart there,
The ubiquitous yellow BOB bag adds another 2.8 lbs
That trailer contraption is 13 lbs, the one with suspension is 17
So, for her load to be lighter than those guys empty, she needs to keep it down to 16-24 lbs.
If you don't think that can be done, it is time for you to do some research. We have gear from Tarptent, Mont bell, sea to summit, golite etc Here's some lists of of far lighter setups: