I think the no-cost no-weight concern wheelset was for rear 48 spoke front 40 spoke, dyad/aeroheat rims, straight 14gu spokes (I prefer 14/15/14 double butted), on Phil Wood hubs.
Obviously, you can adjust your spending to your needs. In 30 years of touring, I have almost always used 48 spoke rims and while I am lighter, I have never had a broken spoke due except due to blunt trama (hitting curbs at speed while fully loaded sort of thing). Due to your weight, I would strongly suggest the 48 spoke as that is what a lot of touring tandems use. If you prefer reliability more than weight and cost, it is a good way to go.
A good book but very technical to read is The Bicycle Wheel by Jobst Brandt. Somewhat boring for us non-tech types but it thoroughly discusses wheels.
Overall, the best advice is to get it very well built as a 36 spoke rim well built is better than a poorly built 48 spoke wheel. Again, over on CGonaB specific builders are recommeneded.
Happy trails and may the wind be at your back!