GoreTex is only one of dozens of fabrics and coatings that are purported to be breathable and waterproof. (My experience is that this is marketing hype but your mileage obviously was different than mine. I want waterproof when I'm in heavy rain and I want wind resistance when I'm riding in cold. I ride a recumbent so my needs for rain protection are slightly different. I don't need a tail so any good jacket does the job for me.)
Looks like AC sells some great rain gear, they used to sell Burley storm garments but have moved on to Showers Pass exclusively: http://www.adventurecycling.org/store/index.cfm/category/38/outerwear.cfm
Hoods disappeared from cycling jackets long ago because the racing side of the industry drives all bike fashion. One rides with a super-lightweight waterproof jacket (a garbage bag with sleeves)
and dons a waterproof helmet cover these days.
and there's this manly hood:
I carry an appropriately stout protective rain jacket for camp wear.
REI used to sell a great touring jacket that not only had a storeable hood, the tail was retractable and the sleeves zipped off. It disappeared from the catalog because it was ridiculously complicated and therefore outrageously expensive and all of those convenience features tended to leak.
If you're an ultralight or minimalist tourer, you may not find what you're seeking. As you say, most of the leads go nowhere. Be sure to visit the touring equipment retailers who advertise in AC, Sierra Trading Post and Campmor.
Might be easier to just sew a tail to your favorite jacket, get a helmet cover and carry a safety reflective vest?
david boise ID